Friday, May 22, 2015

The Fine Line Between Arrogance & Self Confidence!

A recent experience with a young Realtor, during the process of selling my house using a "for sale by owner system", has inspired me to re-examine the issue of arrogance, big ego, and self-confidence! I was contacted by the realtor's representative and was asked to give his firm a chance to present their  "sales pitch" in an effort to convince me to list my property with them instead of selling it by myself. What I took from his unsolicited visit was that " I should be humbled and honored because he showed up personally at my house since he does not chase customers (!!! ) and that his marketing technique is one of a kind "! I don't think he was pleased when I conveyed that "I have seen this movie before". Do I need to tell you that I will not be using his services any time soon!

While I strongly encourage young professionals to have self-confidence, I always warn them to be careful not to confuse it with arrogance. After all, there is a fine line between both of them!

Let's examine the definition of both terms :

Self Confidence: When you google "self-confidence" the first result that jumps at you is this definition:" a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment". A simple but yet a thorough definition.

Arrogance: Urban dictionary provides my favorite definition: "The assumption that one's self-worth is far superior to others. A false sense of pride. Foolishly believing that everyone is inferior to you, looks up to you, and should bow down to your graces"

I hope the above clearly shows the difference between self-confidence and arrogance.

A May 15,2011 article in the Washington Post mentions that arrogant people (the article is about job candidates) tend to, among other things, :
  • Have a tendency to speak using overbearing and harsh tones and intimidating body language.
  • Display limited active listening skills.
  • Answer questions almost too quickly, using “canned” or mechanical responses.

 Having said that, does arrogance lead to success?
Leisa A. Bailey, Ph.D.  said: "Arrogant people can and often do have successes but there are significant costs. Relationships are often shallow and superficial or strained. Additionally, professional successes can be fragile due to difficulties in accepting guidance and feedback and impaired abilities to accept and learn from mistakes."

My last message is: remember to check your ego at the door!



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